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You need to step back and identify the priorities -- your priorities -- in a relationship with a married man. Ensuring you have a life distinct from his that is your safe haven can make being the other woman, if not a secure, permanent position, at least one that is a bit more tolerable.*name changed Kristen Houghton is the author of the hilarious new book, No Woman Diets Alone - There's Always a Man Behind Her Eating a Doughnut in the top 10 hot new releases at Amazon available now on Kindle, Nook, and all e-book venues. Stop Sabotaging Your Happiness and Put Your Own Life First" is ranked in the top 100 books by Tower You may email her at [email protected] don't ever kid yourself on this important point: He is still having sex with his wife, no matter what you may want to believe. Legally, financially and emotionally, you have no claim.You may realize that you have no claim legally or financially, but you would think there'd be an emotional attachment or bond between you and your lover.

You need to have a life that works and that is full enough to withstand the pain of the eventual breakup. A solid circle of friends and a social life separate from your hidden life with him is a necessity.

Your own survival is crucial, and if you do happen to fall in love with a married man, there are several hard truths you need to know. The needs of the many (namely, his family) will always outweigh your needs.

His family will always come first, and that includes his wife. The beginning of an affair is romantic and naughty at the same time.

In fact there usually isn't after the affair is over. Even though he has a deep feeling of love for you, he is able to process it in an unemotional way.

He's not a bad guy, he may be a wonderfully kind person, but he is also a practical one.

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