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The report, Living Apart Together, which will be published tomorrow (April 23), analyses who Britain’s 10 per cent of LATs are, why they live this way, how they organise it, and how intimacy is affected.
The results were drawn from a representative national survey of 572 people who don’t live with their partners, including 50 face-to-face interviews and 16 in-depth case studies.
Choosing separate homes is generally seen as an eccentricity of the rich and famous.
Think of Helena Bonham Carter and Tim Burton, Margaret Drabble and Michael Holroyd, Clive James and Prue Shaw, and, of course, Simone de Beauvoir and Jean-Paul Sartre.
I had to tread carefully; I didn't want to put my foot in my mouth when they were already in his.
I tried to explain to him that I liked pleasing him, just that we couldn't spend our entire night doing just his thing.
They're tucked away in our smelly socks all day and we kind of hate them.
He went on to try and explain that feet triggered something in him the way boobs might trigger a man. And I loved having a little secret with my man, one more way to spice things up in bed. In the beginning, he would rub or kiss the bottoms of my feet and then we'd move on to something more traditional, something more mutually pleasuring.But he didn't get turned on by a random good pedicure in flip-flops, he wanted the feet of the woman he loved. He didn't really have an explanation, but he did seem comfortable talking about it. But very quickly, this whole foot thing took over our sex life, and wasn't just a part of foreplay. And if you haven't done it, let me explain: You lie on our stomach, engage your core and squeeze your thighs so the arches of your feet make a hole.After other women had dismissed it and called him a freak, he was excited I was open to it. Instead of trying to take a naked picture at a perfect angle, back bending and sucking in, I could just take a pic of my feet, fully clothed and with no makeup on! And as much as I liked that he was getting a kick out of it, I became really bored.It's about compromise, and making sure both people are getting what they want out of it (even if what someone wants may seem weird to the other person) — at least, it is for me, and I'm now unwilling to compromise on what I want. We're still friends, and I hope in the future he's open to his new lover's needs from the beginning, just like I was to his.I need intimacy, I'm unashamed that I do, and I speak up about it now. After all, I wouldn't want their relationship to get off on the wrong foot.