Dating someone with a child advice
In addition, talk to anyone you know at work or in your social life who has dated or married into a preexisting family and ask them to tell you what the experience – especially in the beginning – was like for them.
If you are smart and research the issue well, you will make a good decision. Seth is a licensed clinical psychologist, author, Psychology Today blogger, and TV guest expert.
Knowing that I was moving back to a small town after years of living in cities, I looked at my therapist and said: "I can't date someone who has children. And while I was in love with both the man and the kid, I was totally lost. There is nothing wrong with single or divorced parents. But my friends back home in the small town I was moving back to? He had a son with his ex-girlfriend, who I also remember from my past.
I was in a relationship with a man who had a 10-year-old son. I was 29 years old, and the majority of my friends in Chicago were childless or childfree, whichever term you prefer. I knew that by moving back here, I was inviting many children into my day-to-day life -- and probably my love life, too. Despite all of my fears, I reconnected with this man from my youth.
If you tend to be more of a take-charge, shot-calling personality, dating someone with a child is going to be challenging and you may not be happy because so many of the interpersonal dynamics and daily practices have already been set up.
Are you someone who gets in a fair number of fights or arguments with people, whether strangers or people you know well?
But how do you deal with this situation when you don't have any children of your own?
If you are on the fence about wanting kids, forcing yourself into a pre-established family adds so many pressures, and it’s not necessarily worth the hassle unless you live somewhere where there are truly few to no other dating options.After all, it’s not just the fact that you have to make it work with the person you’re dating and the child that comes along with him or her, but you also have to deal with the ex who is the other parent to that child.The good news is that millions of men and women make it work, which is proof that it is possible.I’m thinking of workaholics, angry/bitter-prone personalities, and impulsive, always-looking-for-the-party personalities.These types typically don’t have a significant part of their personalities that is nurturing.
Still, even though it can work in many cases, do you want to risk the odds?