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"I started to really love my job, and kids didn't seem to fit into the picture," she says.
Her husband was hurt by her change of heart, and began to resent her.
Regardless of the reason, there's one thing that's certain: infidelity is devastating. "In many cases, it forces issues to the surface of a relationship that would have never otherwise been dealt with," says Kevin Hansen, author of RELATED: 10 Surprising Traits Men Who Cheat Have in Common "From the day I married my husband, I knew it was a mistake," says 50-year-old Elizabeth Smith.* "He was abusive, controlling and expected me to quit my job to make a home for him." A little over a year into the marriage, she began having an affair with a man that she worked with.
"I had no illusions that I was in love, but it was eye-opening to be with someone that made me feel good about myself, made me laugh and respected me for who I was—not who he wanted me to be," she says.
"One night I caught him trying to slip off the condom and that was pretty much the end of our sex life." Ultimately, the lack of intimacy caused Vanessa to cheat."That was 25 years ago and now I can say that my affair was the turning point in my life's journey.Today, Bob and I are married, own a winery in Australia, and have five children and 10 grandchildren between us." What You Can Learn: Though Barbara's story ended up with a "happily ever after," that's not always the case when it comes to infidelity, which is why Dr.Rather than having an affair, increase the romance, change habitual patterns within the relationship and communicate more about your feelings and needs." If you just need a change of pace, try booking an exotic vacation with your husband or girlfriends, or discuss moving to a new city and starting over.For 10 years, 49-year-old Barbara Singer created a life independent of her husband because he was never around.