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Feeling good in your own skin and being open-minded and creative are what sexy is all about.

In fact, many midlife women say sex gets better after menopause because they are comfortable with who they are, they know what they like and how to ask for it, and they don't have to worry about bleeding or pregnancy.

We fantasized about that empty nest and the chance to have spontaneous sex on a weekend afternoon without threat of interruption.

Instead, many women say that with diminished desire and the pain, sex just isn't worth the trouble. While it's true that in the University of Chicago study half of those surveyed reported problems, many were still having a pretty good time.

In the fall, a 45-year-old Courtney Cox will star in ABC's "Cougar Town" flashing a body that any 20-year-old would envy.

And then there are those photos of newly svelte Valerie Bertinelli (49) flaunting her toned abs in a bikini.

At least that's the message we're getting from the recent burst of celebrity cougar mania and new advertising campaigns from pharmaceutical companies promising that hormones will restore our aging bodies to their former glory.Scientists used to think that men and women experienced sex the same way—in effect, a straight line from desire to arousal to orgasm.But now they see female sexual progression as a circle, with many interrelated factors—emotional intimacy, arousal, emotional and physical satisfaction and desire.The exact mechanism for this predicted demise wasn't always clear, but physicians of that era did believe it was dangerous for older women to even about sexual activity because erotic thoughts might, among other evils, evoke regrets for lost allure and those regrets could trigger disease.Medical literature and popular culture of the time (mostly written by men, of course) often portrayed women over 50 as borderline insane.

Doctors say that when it comes to sex, the best advice is use it or lose it.

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Sex life chat like