‘Some just don’t want to make the compromises that having a man can mean,’ says Dr Maye Taylor, a counsellor and life coach.I contacted The Plankton and she said the huge response to her lament proves there are many older women who feel just as she does.When those relationships failed, he came back to me and I just felt, “He’ll be off again”, so I didn’t pursue it.’Official statistics reveal that among those aged 45 to 64 there are equal numbers of men and women living alone, it is only in the 65 and over age group that the lone women outnumber men — and that’s easily explained by the fact that men die younger. ‘A man can pick from a wider pool of women — his age and under, by several decades,’ The Plankton writes.‘I have a friend in her late 30s who lives with, and has children by, a man in his mid-60s.‘I almost wept when I read her blog about going to a wonderful party hoping to meet someone,’ my friend Ruthie explained. You know you are being unrealistic and that it won’t happen — yet when it doesn’t, you can’t help being disappointed.’Ruthie is 47 and one of the most attractive women — of any age — that I know.Never married, she has a son James, now 13, by a man she parted from before her son was born.‘I can’t count the times a guy has seemed really keen to arrange a date, and then, with sometimes only five minutes to go, I get a text saying sorry, he can’t make it.I’ve been told they cry off as they have met someone more suitable.’Some older women may be missing out on the chance of finding love, she thinks, because, bruised and rejected in earlier relationships, they lack the confidence and persistence to keep dating until they find a match.
‘I always had boyfriends when I was younger and assumed I would again after James was born,’ she says. These chats were fun — and sometimes quite flirty — but if I ever suggested we meet, the men would often back off, saying they were not looking for a relationship.’A dozen or so dates followed over the years, none of them quite right.
He is paunchy with grey chest hair and not especially rich.
He plucked her from a surfeit of willing women, watching him like vultures before my friend “got” him.’This may be the case in some circles, but is it generally true?
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